Thursday, July 17, 2008

NubianBlues: I hate to lose!

My computer is messed up. I have no money for a new one. This is the losing season. It seems once the job goes. The cosmic vacum goes to work on the rest of your life. Money, stuff, friends, esteem, psychological well-being, snacks, nights out, balance, sleep, peace, the regard of your family and friends,debit/credit card purchases, new clothes. Hell what is the point!?

I had a friend(maybe ex friend) lecture ME!? on her "testicular fortitude" as well as the pride her family raised her with. I had not asked this woman for money.....just some understanding. Family this is not a good look for me. I can remember when other people I knew went through a situation like this. WE just sort of forgot about them. WE just wanted to erase them from our memory. WE began to act as if they ceased to exist .

I am now one of the dearly departed. I have been embalmed, funeralized, eulogized, and finally buried. I had a homegoin' goin' on and did not want to admit it. I know why this happenend, not because all my peeples is bad. It is because they are afraid for themselves. It could happen to them and they just don't want to witness something that might go down with them.

I am now entering the ranks of the hardcore unemployed and my computer, my source for information, my source for stimulation, my source for the JOB search is JACKED UP! WTF!? I am using the computer in the this is what it feels like to have a losing season. The technical difficulty has kept me from posting. I have all kinds a stuff I wanted to put out. This is the losing season. The vacum of the cosmos is doin' it's work.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's been said that in order to come out of something, you have to go through it. Hang in there bro, your determination will win over the vacuum.